Worry

Like most people, worry is a familiar companion. I worry if I miss the garbage pick-up or if someone judges me after my dog drops a load but before I can pull out the poop bag. I worry when the bills arrive and if I’ve met others’ expectations.

I’ve always had this problem. When I was a kid in school, my days were a constant balancing act between pleasing the teachers, my parents and my peers. At work, there was constant pressure to keep customers happy, the bosses content and avoid offending fellow employees.

After I married, my husband was a salesman on the road and, if he was more than half an hour late, I would plan his funeral while crying and nursing my baby. Maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was worry turning to fear.

I would worry my food wasn’t as good as my mother-in-law’s, if my kids liked me or if I was an overbearing mother. I worried over my children if they were bullied or came home crying or what other people thought of them and, by reflection, what they thought of me.

I still worry about them, even though the children are all grown adults, some with children of their own.

Obviously, if there was a situation that I could do something about, I would. But more often, I imagined the problems. I would ‘what if’ and start worrying about a possible, but highly unlikely, scenario to the point of fear.

After all, what is worry but just the seed of fear and as Yoda said “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

My worry often led to confrontation and anger, especially with my children when they wanted to do something which I feared would lead to maiming or death. I don’t think I ever got as far as hate, though, just resentment of the all imagined expectations controlling my life.

Over the years, I’ve realized worry and fear don’t help and can actually make a situation worse.

If you have ever made and played with cornstarch ooze you’ll have an illustration of what I mean. It looks and feels like a liquid, but if you squeeze it hard or strike it, it feels solid. Stop squeezing and open your hand and the ooze will flow through your fingers like liquid. The more energy you apply to the liquid, the more solid it will become.

Quicksand is the same. Thrashing around in quicksand causes it to clump and solidify making it harder to escape. But relaxing, with minimum movements, keeps the quicksand liquid allowing floating and gently swimming to safety.

Fear and worry are my quicksand. The more I worry, the more I fear, the more I struggle with the problems of this world, the greater the likelihood I will sink and be overwhelmed. The demons tempt me with situations. They want me to worry, to fear and rage against the world so they can get stronger while I get weaker. They have no power within themselves, only what I give them. My resistance, my anger, my worry, my fear is their strength which drains me, leaving little room for love.

I once had a poster reading “Let go and let God.” It is a very succinct way of expressing what I, as a follower of Christ am supposed to do. When I recognize my worry, I need to stop and relax, let go of the situation and trust in God. If instead, I struggle with the worry, it grows stronger and I become paralyzed with fear and will drown in the anger. Relaxing allows me to float and keep my eyes on God, secure in His love. Without worry to build on, the demons will flow away like water, unable to stand against the embodiment of perfect love in Jesus Christ, the one who casts out fear (1 John 4).

Phillipians 4:6 “Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God.”

Worry should not lead to fear, worry is a signal it’s time for prayer and to ‘let God’.