Wax or Clay

 A few years back, I heard about a family from South Africa who had moved to an area in Canada specifically because of the lack of sunshine. The children suffered from, what was in essence, an allergy to the sun. They were unable to spend time in direct sunlight. Needless to say, this made life difficult for the family.

I wondered at this situation. I don't often think about the sun and actually probably take it for granted. I relish its every appearance during the dark days of winter and complain when the sky has been overcast for too long. I garden and play and relax in the sunlight, but when it gets too hot, I complain. To think that something so necessary to life can be painful and even deadly to some people is paradoxical. But then we need to realize the sun itself hasn’t changed, just a person's response to it.

Over the years, I've heard a lot of comments about the passage in the Old Testament where it says God hardened Pharaoh's heart so he (Pharaoh) would not let the Israelites go. There were people who said that wasn't very fair of God, hardening someone's heart like that and others who used the passage as a justification for predestination. Similar arguments were put forth about Judas. “These people can't be blamed for their actions if God made them like that!” Believing that everyone has a choice about accepting or rejecting God, these passages also confused me.

Then after I read about this family, things started to make sense. God is like the sun, He never changes. He is Who He is and my relationship with Him is entirely dependent upon my reaction, my response, to Him.

The same sun can cause either pleasure or pain depending upon the person. The same sun can both melt wax and harden clay. The same God can inspire either love or hatred.

I realized my response to God is entirely dependent upon my choice. Am I open to Him or am I resistant and want to do my own thing? Am I struggling to draw closer to God or to run away?

I realized that when the Bible tells us God hardened Pharaoh’s heart, it doesn’t mean that God purposely caused Pharaoh to spurn Him and to persecute His people, it means Pharaoh chose to ignore the presence of God and pursue, instead, his own goals. Pharaoh’s heart was hardened in the presence of God instead of melting and giving into God. Judas was the same. Instead of acknowledging God’s presence through Christ, he chose to follow his own agenda and thus betrayed Christ. His heart was hardened by the presence of God.

Am I wax or am I clay?

I know of people who claim to be Christian but who knowingly lie and cheat. They continue to do what they want to and when questioned, reply ‘I believe in a God of love. He loves me and will forgive anything and everything I do.’

In essence that’s true. God truly does love each and everyone of us. He wants to forgive us all and reconcile every single person to Himself, so much so that He sent His Son Jesus to do exactly that, but we have to co-operate. We just can't say we love God, we have to act like it as well. Ultimately, as my mother used to tell me, 'your actions speak louder than your words'. I can say I love God as often as I want, but in the end, my words mean nothing while my actions mean everything. I can say I'm sorry, but I need to show it by repenting and not repeating or continuing the behaviour which separates me from another person and, ultimately, God. I am foolish if I expect full forgiveness without true repentance, which means changing my actions.

After all, if I knowingly sin and comfort myself by saying 'God will forgive me', I am building up a resistance to God. I am, in essence, developing an allergy to Him and His love. The more I choose to follow my own wants and desires, the more I'm pulling away from Him, and if I don't want to be close to God in this life, how can I possible enjoy His presence in the next? If I turn my back on God now, will I be able to face Him later? I've been given time in this world to prepare for my life in the next. How I respond to God now will determine my place in the next.

Just as it is a painful, burning experience for someone with a sun allergy to be in the sunlight, so it is for someone with a God-allergy to be in the presence of God. Unfortunately, we can't hide from God the way we can from the sun. Since God is present everywhere, He, in His mercy, prepared hell so the pain of being in His presence for those who don't want to be, wouldn’t be as great. Hell is not a complete separation from God, but rather it is a ‘distance’ from Him.

God does not punish someone by sending him or her to hell, it is a destination determined by each person's choices in this life. It is inevitable that I will eventually be in God's presence, but whether I rejoice or suffer in His presence depends upon me and my actions in this world here and now.

If I'm searching for God now and doing my best to emulate Him, no matter how feeble the effort, if I sincerely try to love all those around me, to humble myself and to lift others up, I am doing well. If, on the other hand, I concern myself with myself, seeking pleasure, considering others as stepping stones to my own desires or ignoring them completely, then I am developing an allergy to God.
God can and does forgive me. But how can I draw close enough to accept that forgiveness if I can’t stand to be in His presence because I've spent a lifetime running away from Him?

Jesus tells a story of a man who asked his two sons to go into the field to perform a task. One said he would not go, the other said he would. However, as the day progressed, the son who had said he would go, never did. Meanwhile, the son who had said he would not go, changed his mind and went and did the task. Who received the father's commendation? Daily, I have to ask, which son am I most like?

I know I will spend eternity with God but it is my choice, here and now, as to whether it will be in agony or in ecstasy.